The Kitchen is Open

 

This story is about two mischievous boys left home alone deciding to play restaurant, ending up with a torturous spaghetti pot disaster.

 

On a cold and winter night, too young boys, Hank and Jay were alone in the house, and because they were hungry, decided it would be fun to play restaurant. Both parents were out at an office event, and Hank, the older of the two boys by 3-years, was put in charge. The idea of the restaurant game was each of them would play the part of a customer, ordering the food which the other as the chef would make.

 

The entrance to the kitchen was a narrow hallway, roughly five feet in length and four feet across, with the door to the seller stairs on the left, then opening into the kitchen area. It would be here at the entrance to the kitchen where the ordering counter would be placed. The kitchen itself was narrow and rectangular. Facing the sink there was a large window overlooking the driveway and garden area, and the next house belonging to the elderly neighbors. To the left of the sink was a countertop with a dish rack on top and the refrigerator. On the other side, the countertop had a coffee percolator and kitchen radio, stretching over to where the stove lived. Above the entire counter were two closets filled with plates and bowls on the left-hand side along with pantry goods, including spices and sauces on the right. Opposite to the sink was a yellow top aluminum table with two chairs at either end.  The third chair was tucked in under the table as the distance between the table and the sink was very narrow. The house itself was old. Built in the 1920s, the kitchen was worn with rotted linoleum by the sink, having several handleless counter drawers that needed to be pulled out by their edges. Perpendicular to the stove was a wall with a traditional pull up and push down glass and wood frame window. The shade on the window was spring loaded so you needed to be careful when pulling the shade down fixing it into place. Over the stove was an electric fan vent, with the stove being a dirty greasy white gas stove with pilot light, four burners and oven with a broken broiler door propped up on the floor. The stove was so old it was the only stove in Hank and Jay’s memory.

Hank and Jay placed a folding four-leg card table at the entrance to the kitchen, blocking the way into the living room.

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Hank said, “I’ll go first.”

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Jay ducked under the table, stood up, turned around and said, “what is your order sir?”

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“I’ll have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,” said Hank.

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“Coming right up” replied Jay.

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Opening the refrigerator door and peering in, Jay found the Big-Top peanut butter in the white textured stem glass jar. Jay continued to rummage in the fridge and found the Bernice grape jelly. Jay went over to the bread drawer next to the refrigerator and slid it open to get two pieces of Palman’s white bread. Opening the kitchen cabinet on the left, Jay pulled out a small yellow Melmac saucer, a knife from the silverware drawer and began to make the sandwich, placing the plate on the top of the kitchen table then bringing the finished sandwich over to the make-shift counter.

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“Here you go,” said Jay.

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Hank asked, “can I have some milk?”

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“Sure,” said Jay.

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Jay turned around, open the refrigerator again, and from the bottom of the door pulled out a quart of Mullar's milk. He poured it into a glass and brought it out to the counter.

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Jay said, “my turn.”

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As Hank was bigger than Jay, he turned and walked through the living room into the dining room and entered the kitchen through the back second doorway. Walking up to the counter, Hank asked, “What’ill you have?”

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“Cereal,” replied Jay.

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“What kind?” said Hank.

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“I’ll have Sugar Smacks,” said Jay.

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Hank turned around and reached up on top of the refrigerator to grab the Kellogg’s variety pack with 10 mini boxes of Kellogg cereal. Selecting the Sugar Smacks, Hank poured them into a bowl, poured on the milk that was still out on the table, grabbed a spoon from the drawer and brought the bowl over to the counter.

After finishing their food, Hank said, “let’s make something else.”

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Jay said, “how about soup?”

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Hank got a large silver spaghetti pot from the cabinet under the counter, filled it with water and placed it on the stove.

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“What should we put in the pot, said Jay.”

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“I’m not sure,” said Hank.

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“How about onions,” said Jay.

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As throwing vegetables into a pot sounded like a good idea, some old carrots, one whole sliced potato, and some wilted lettuce, followed.

“We need flavor,” said Hank with a satirical grin.

Opening the cabinet with the sauces and spices along with additional dry goods like Minute rice, and Bisquick, Hank found a small cardboard, red cylinder container with beef bouillon cubes. Jay quickly unwrapped five of the cubes using his fingernail to lift up the aluminum fold and threw them into the pot.

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“That’s good,” said Hank.

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“What’s next?” asked Jay.

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“Spices,” said Hank.

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As neither Hank or Jay knew much about the mixture of spices, after sprinkling the typical spices such as salt and pepper, the choice of spices became more exotic. Garlic powder, onion salt, mustard powder, cayenne pepper, oregano, parsley flakes, paprika, a sprig of basil, and two bay leaves got tossed into the pot. By this point, the water was getting hot enough to generate steam and would soon be boiling. Stirring the mixture with a potato masher, the fragrance was revolting. “How about some of these liquids, asked Jay. With devilish grins on both their faces, they added vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, ketchup, wine vinegar, vanilla, and the contents of liquids of which they had no idea, then ending with Hershey’s chocolate syrup for sweetness. By this time, the mixture was boiling, smelling really foul.

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“We got to soften the smell,” said Hank.

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Jay poured the remaining milk from the carton on the table into the mixture, turning the entire concoction gray.

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“As it is a soup,” said Hank, “let’s put some noodles into the pot.”

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A handful of spaghetti was broken in two and pushed in to the pot with the potato masher. Finally, the idea for a hot flaming soup materialized as paper towels were placed on the surface of the concoction, then lit with a match. The smoke from the burning paper towels, and the steam from the boiling concoction filled the kitchen with a horrendous odor. Both boys knew how much trouble they would be in if their parents suddenly came home. The window by the stove was opened, and the pot was quickly carried over to the window ledge, allowing Hank to spill the contents over the back cellar doors. Once the pot was empty, Jay took the pot over to the sink to rinse it out. The entire bottom of the pot was burnt with caked on vegetable matter, paper towel remains, and stuck spaghetti pieces. Hank and Jay spent the rest of the evening torturously scraping and scouring the spaghetti pot, trying to erase and reclaim its once clean and shiny silver surface.